Weee! I get to annoy people!
by TimeHappens
Summary: Dani Shultz and Annabeth Chase hate eachother and battle it out in comedy. Well, pretty much Dani killing the crap outta Annabeth...
1. Chapter 1

Weeee. I get to annoy people.

1.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"YES. THE SKY IS BRIGHT RED!" I screamed at Annabeth.

"That's totally illogical. The sky is blue." She said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"How do you know your not color blind?" I asked, hiding a smile.

"Well-"

"You aren't real."

"What? I am real; I'm standing right in front of you!" She exclaimed.

"No your not." I smiled.

"Yes, I am! I am standing in front of you, and your standing in front of me!" She yelled, looking as if she was about to punch me.

"Tehehe. What's your name?" I asked, stupidly.

"Annabeth!" She yelled.

"No it's not." I smiled.

"WHAT'S MY NAME?" She screamed.

"No need to be so rude." I said quietly, and started to "cry."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"She tried to say, but I just ran away laughing.

By the way, my name is Dani Shultz. I hate Camp Half-Blood; with a burning passion. I hate everyone at the camp.


	2. Chapter 2

ANNABETH POV.

2.

Dear Annabeth,

I told Chiron and Mr. D what you did to me. They said you have to be my slave for a week. And then after that a giant chicken came, like the one from Dora, and started dancing. We had a party, and you missed it. Oh, it was great. We were all up on that new Olympus you built, and we trashed it. We need a new one. NOWWWW. So, hurry up with that, will you?

Xoxo,

DS

"UGHHHH!" I screamed, storming over to the big house.

"CHIRON."

"Yes?"

"YOU HAD A PARTY WITHOUT ME!" I screamed.

"Yeah. It was so much fun! We trashed up the place, and it fell and crushed Miley Cyrus and Brittney Spears. Then we kept partying…. It was intense."

"Oh, yeah, mortal girl. Make a new Olympus. And a new throne for Chicken." Dionysus said to me.

"Yeah, sure. BUT CHIRON. WHY!"

"Because we don't like you. Why else?"

The phone started ringing.

"Hello?"

"Is Annabeth there?" The stranger asked on speakerphone.

"No, she died." Chiron said quickly, then hung-up.

*five minutes later*

"ANNABETH DIED!" Percy screamed over the phone.

"I'm not dead, Percy. I'm f*^#ing alive!" I shouted into the phone and hung-up.


	3. Chapter 3

Annabeth's POV.

Oh, she's gonna get it now…

"Hey Dani!" I smiled fakely.

"Hey… Uh, what's your name again?"

"I don't remember." I smiled.

"You don't remember your name?" She asked, full of concern.

"Cheesecake."

"Yeah, you're a real smart daughter of Athena."

"Hey, uh, you know What?"

"What?"

"I don't know What. He seems cool."

"Ohmygosh! I need to meet him!"

"Tacos are yummy. You made me cry. I am a ninja. Chinese food is crazy. Why are you still here? Are you listening? Why are you dead?" I asked, trying to push away a smile.

"I don't know… Why does your Olympus suck?"

"It does not- PRETTY PONY!" I screamed.

"Holy crap… What was that?"

"Uh…"

Percy came running over, smiling, and kissing me on the cheek.

"EW! COOTIES!" She screamed.

"Percy. Why. Do. You. Make. Me. Cry. Like. This." She stammered, laughing so hard she started crying.

"Dani-"

"That's not my name, stupid." She cried harder now.

"What's your name?"

"Why doesn't anyone care?" She screamed, slapping Percy in the face and running away.

"So, anyway…. That failed. Gimme a sec." I said, walking to the nearest tree and started banging my head as hard as possible.

Then a nymph came out of the tree, pushed me, and started screaming.

"WHY DID THE PURPLE TACO EAT MY FATHER!" She repeatedly screamed.

"Where is my pickle?" Snooki asked, wandering around camp.

"Snooki! My home girl!" Percy said, walking up to her.

Then Chiron trotted up, with handcuffs.

"Snooki, you are under arrest for being a problem in our community and for having terribly dyed hair." He said, putting the handcuffs on, and pulling her by her Snooki Poof.


	4. Chapter 4

So after Snooki left, the camp was depressing. Sammi Sweetheart, Pauly D, J-Wow, the whole crew was gone.

"SNOOKI!" Lee from the Apollo cabin screamed.

"WHERE." Everyone yelled, looking around camp.

"I was just kidding." Then, at least twenty five kids charged him with swords.

"OH MY GODS!" A crazy Percy fan girl screamed, running into camp.

"I am a banana!" I screamed, punching the purple taco that killed the Nymph's father.

Then I kicked him in the shell and ran away.

When I got to my cabin, I was laughing my butt off.

Their were flying shoes everywhere, kicking everyone in the head. I started laughing harder, and then an orange came out of Connor Stoll's belly button. No one freaked out about that; it was pretty normal.

"GUYS," I screamed, "JUST SCREAM BLUE CHEESE!"

"BLUE CHEESE!" They all started screaming, and then the shoes flew towards Percy, and started licking his ear.

"AHHHH!" He screamed, running into the ocean and flapping his toes, trying to fly away. I walked into the water and started singing Yellow Submarine by the Beatles.

"Annabeth is running around with fire on her pants!" I yelled.

"What?" Percy yelled, running out of the water, skipping towards Nico, who was cutting his wrists.

"Oh! Nico! Can I try?" Thalia called, running around in circles. She was wearing a bright pink fairy costume, carrying around her spear… But it was covered in glitter, sparkles, ribbons, and flowers.

"Ohmygod!" Silena yelled, running towards Thalia.

"Oh. My. Gods. There's big huge mushroom on my leg!" Mr. D screamed, flying around on a carpet. Yeah, it wasn't a mushroom. Take that as you please.

"IS THIS CAMP ON CRACK?" Chiron screamed, with pink fur and orange polka dots.

"Naturally." I said.

Then, Annabeth came, charging me with her knife. She was soaked.

"WHY DID YOU TELL PERCY MY PANTS WERE ON FIRE?" She asked.

"Because your shirt was on fire." I told her.

"No!" She cried.

I ran away.

{See, you probably forgot about that. That Percy was the son of Poseidon and Annabeth was on fire. Hhaha. Remember, Dani and Annabeth hate eachother. And if you did remember, I give you virtual cookie!}


	5. Chapter 5

SNOOKI POV.

"I hate you Chiron! Why do you do this to a guidette?" I asked.

"Ohmy. It's worse than I thought."

"Tacos." I screamed.

"Your right. Let's go get some tacos!" Chiron said, pulling me onto his back.

"Can we bring everyone else from Jersey shore?"

"Everyone but Angelina!" He said, and I laughed.

Then we had a party.

DANI POV.

"Mr. D! Snooki and Chiron and the cast of Jersey Shore are having a taco party!" Silena cried.

"Purple gay leprachons." He mumbled, and started doing a clog dance. Silena started to sing opera. Then, Simon Cowell came into camp (he was the son of Chicken.)

"You suck, get off the stage. You should never sing again." Then, Silena got a close bottle, smashed off half and started chasing him around.

"IT'S A PILLOW! IT'S A PET! IT'S A PILLOW PET!" Apollo sang across camp, everyone joining in.

"This is so going on Hephaestus TV!" I yelled.

"Cheesecake." Annabeth said again to me.

"Yep, they were right. Your are the smartest Athena child ever, right next to me." I laughed.

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN A CHILD OF ATHENA!" She screamed.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW? I'M UNDETERMINED!" I yelled back.

"BECAUSE SNOOKI TOLD ME SO!"

"Oh, okay." I said back.

"You have a face." She said.

**I started crying.**

Then she did the impossible.

**She started crying too.**

Then Apollo came over and starting to cry.

**********A few hours later*************

That day was pretty much a cry fest. Everyone just cried for no apparent reason. Even all the gods started crying with us. It was amazingly fun, and to think I started it all. It was all amazingly fun and then a million fireflies flew around.

We all started screaming the song Fireflies by Owl City while all the gods were crazily using their magical powers. Then the purple taco that killed the Nymph's father walked by; Zeus ripped some cheese off of him. Suddenly, everyone started pulling apart Kevin-the-purple-taco-who-killed-the-nymph's-father until he was just a toenail. We all cheered and then Luke came and then Nico started slicing his wrists.

"IT HURTS SO GOOD!" He yelled.

"I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself!" Luke screamed, as crazy fan girls attacked him.

"CHEESECAKE." Annabeth shouted at a juniper tree, which was apparently Juniper's tree.

"TACOS!" Juniper yelled back.

"Tacos are icky!" Beckondorf's spirit said floating up into camp.

Then Chiron and Snooki came back.

_**EVERYONE SCREAMED.**_

Everyone was so excited that manatees came back to life and started dancing the Macarena. Now everyone was so happy and the camp was out of depression. We started fist pumping then someone screamed, "TRAAAAAAAAIN!" Really slowly, in slow motion. Then a giant mushroom came and started peeing on the strawberries.

_**Camp was finally back to normal. :D**_


	6. Chapter 6

After Snooki came back, the gods didn't leave. Oh, and classes were cancelled. The whole camp was a party, nonstop.

See, when the gods party, it's absolutely insane. It's like the whole camp was on crack or weed or heroin or beer or wine or drunk or all of them put together.

WE LOVED IT.

On the first day, we played "Kill That Celebrity!" My first victim, ANNABETH.

See, you probably forgot about my hatred of Annabeth. I hated Annabeth like peanut butter hated mayonnaise.

"FOR THE POTATOES!" Percy screamed, shooting Taylor Lautner in the face with dog poop.

"ARGGGGH!" Taylor yelled and turned into….. A PICKLE. And guess what? Snooki ate him, and sucked off all the juice. But everyone else was too busy staring at Percy. Then, Grover, Nico, and I started to scream, "FOR THE POTATOES!" This made everyone else scream: "FOR THE TOMATOES!" And we had a war. It was bigger than the Trojan War, or the war of the Gods vs. Titans or the war where Percy killed Kronos. It was so flipping intense that Mr. D's mushroom exploded. ( Take that as you please, also.) So as the war went on, a guy in a chicken suit was walking around. All the Olympians and other gods screamed, all saying, "CHICKEN!"

It wasn't Chicken….. It was Kevin-the-purple-taco-who-killed-the-nymphs-father's-brother's-uncle's-boyfriend's-bestfriend's-cousin's-sister's-great aunt's-brother's-cousin's-twin. He got attacked by the gods.

Then, Hera started to read a story to Aphrodite, Athena, Artemis, Hestia, Demeter, Persephone, Nyx, Hebe, and Nemesis.

"Once upon a time there was a man named Tiger Woods…." Hera read aloud.

"TIGER WOODS IS JUST LIKE ZEUS! THEY BOTH LOVE TO HAVE…. I MEAN THEY LOVE TO "PLAY TWISTER!"" was Kevin-the-purple-taco-who-killed-the-nymphs-father's-brother's-uncle's-boyfriend's-bestfriend's-cousin's-sister's-great aunt's-brother's-cousin's-twin said.

"I WILL KILL- Wait, your right!" He said poofing away magically.

Then Apollo's pants lit on fire.

Who am I kidding? Apollo doesn't wear pants! He wears sexy shorts!

"Very sexy shorts!" Nico added from the background. I stared at Nico in shock and then the actual god, Chicken came. He was foaming at the mouth and a UFO came over his head, and we all started to pee ourselves. And then Team Rocket came.

"We sell chopped up Pikachu!" They yelled.

"Cheesecake." Annabeth shouted back at them and they all exploded and turned into potatoes.

"ARE THOSE ZEUS' POTATOES!" Poseidon screeched.

"Maybeeeee." Percy said.

"MWAHAHAH! I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY PRETTIFUL FLOWERS!" Persephone screamed.

"WHERE IS SNOOKI?" Chiron screamed, crying.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Aphrodite yelled and then started crying too, while licking a pickle.

"Ohmigods, your licking a pickle! You must be Snooki!" Silena yelled.

"No, I'm Snooki!" Hermes yelled, punching Silena in the knee.

"THEN I'M PAULY D!" Dionysus screamed.

"Then I must hate Annabeth!" I complained, and punched her in the face, stomach, and eye.


	7. Chapter 7

DANI POV.

So, you know how Annabeth hates spiders? Well, what's scarier than spiders? SCORPIANS! You're probably thinking about tacos, anyway. But whatever.

"!" Nico called.

"Why are you saying it like that?" I asked.

"That's how everyone says it."

"Chipotle." I screamed.

"Yum!" He smiled, and licked my knee.

Then Apollo and Dionysus walked by and started fist pumping, walking over to Snooki.

"Pickle?" Snooki asked, offering them pickles. They shook their heads and then Dionysus punched her.

"What! You never hit a girl, never hit a girl!" Apollo, Zeus, Hephaestus and Poseidon yelled, pushing Dionysus.

"DANCE PARTY!" Hermes yelled, and then the lake in the middle of the camp turned into a swimming pool. Then I saw my mortal grandma their and screamed, "What the crap Grandma!" She just shrugged and kept licking Hermes. I walked towards the pool and skirted along the edge of it, until I saw Apollo behind me.

"Oh no, don't push me into the pool! Then my hair'll get wet!" I complained sarcastically.

"You knew the purple taco?" He asked.

"PARAMORE!" He yelled after a minute of silence.

"WHERE?" I screeched, looking for my favorite band in the universe.

"THEIR! OVER THEIR WITH EAVNESCENCE!" Then Paramore and Evanescence magically poofed at the edge of the pool.

"Sing puppets, sing!" I screamed, poking them.

Then Apollo pushed me into pool and jumped in on top of me and started fist pumping underwater. Then Poseidon was their underwater reading the newspaper.

"HEWWWWP MIIIIIIII!" I tried to scream, but I had no air left.

Then, I heard The White Tie Affair and All Time Low music and pushed Apollo's fat butt off of me and swam to the surface.

"Ohmigods….. IT'S A MINI TACO!" Haley Williams from Paramore screamed, chasing the purple taco's cousin into a fire.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA! I AM THE MIGHTY PERSEPHONE!" Zeus laughed; running around camp with Thalia's girled out electric spear.

"Oh. My. Self!" Hermes screamed as he saw Justin Bieber. "I HATE JUSTINE PEABRAIN!" He ran up to him with his magical snakes who at him.

"POTATOES!" Percy screamed, flooding the camp with his awesome powers.

"POSEIDON!" I complained, standing at the edge of the pool.

"Yeah?" He asked from the bottom of the pool, looking up from his newspaper.

"Please drown Annabeth?" I begged, falling to my knees and crying.

"What the chizz, Chicken!" Silena Beauregard laughed as her and Chicken were skipping hand in hand to find The Wizard of Oz.

"TIME TO GTL!" Apollo shrieked and all the gods disappeared.

"Awh, man, I hate gym/tan/laundry…." Lee complained from the Apollo cabin, and was again charged with giant trees.

"That's what you get for hating Jersey!" Pauly yelled, laughing.

"I'M IN THE JERSEY SHORE, BITCH!" Snooki shouted, fist pumping and laughing with J-Wow.

"Wow, I hate Angelina…" I mumbled and Snooki hugged me.

"WHAT THE HADES, DANI! SERIOUSLY!" Annabeth shrieked walking out of the pool. Hahah, I forgot Poseidon (attempted) to drown her…

"Thank you Lord Poseidon!"

"Whoa, ANNABETH DUCK!" I yelled as I watched Ronnie throw a punch at Annabeth.

THANK. YOU. RONNIE.


	8. Chapter 8

"POMEGRANETES!" One of my new best friends, Alejandro screamed as a pomegranate appeared at my feet.

"Uh, Alejandro, why is there a-" I tried to ask, but then he screamed,

"POMEGRANETES!" And two more pomegranates appeared at my feet.

"!" And twenty four pomegranates appeared in the door of the Pomegranate god's cabin.

In no time, the camp was filled with pomegranates and everyone was cursing as they threw them at Lee from the Apollo cabin for lying to them about Snooki.

"GRAWR. I am Zeus' magical potato!"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm already eating a taco. GO AWAY."

"Not my cursed cousin the taco!"

"Romeo, oh Romeo!" Apollo cried from a huge tower flying in the air.

"HOLY SHIT 'TIS JULIET!" Hermes yelled and started jumping, trying to save the princessish lady.

"TAKE MY HAIR, STUPID!" "Juliet" cried from the tower and dropped down a crocodile.

"Pikachu, I choose you!" Hermes yelled and a huge yelled cat ate the crocodile.

"I got another one up hurrrr!" Apollo cried.

"Good show, good show, chaps." Aphrodite said in an Indian accent.

"That's totally wrong." Apollo appeared next to Aphrodite and slapped her. Of course, he was still the god of theater…

"Wait, where did all the pomegranates go?" Zeus' potato yelled, and POOF. The pomegranates were back.

"I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!" Athena yelled, skipping through the red fruits, whipping her hair around like Willow.

"Yummy Pomegranates!" Alejandro yelled to the sky, sitting on Hades shoulders as they ran through the field of pomegranates.

All this time, I was sitting on Annabeth, snapping her leg into hundreds of pieces.

"What do you think you're to my daughter?" Athena yelled at me while whipping her hair back and forth.

"I'm dancing with her."

"Okayyy!"

THE END.

(For now.)


	9. AN! READIT!

_**THANK Y OU EVERYONE WHO READ AND REVIEWED! I JUST REACHED A THOUSAND VIEWERS AND I AM SO EXCITED! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!**_

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